Free Hand Drawing

         Usually, I draw editorial cartoons 'cause that's what I am trained for when I was the EIC of our school's newspaper. But then, a teacher asked me to participate in a free hand drawing contest. It was harder than cartooning, honestly. I gladly accepted it, though, because it's a new thing for me. Why not try before I graduate?

          My task was to sit in front of a slightly tilted board, and draw the real fruits displayed in front. These photos explain what I did. Lol. See the bananas? I ate one of them. By the way, I drew them during my practice. There are about five of them but the rest is in my trainer's classroom as souvenirs. Unfortunately, the actual drawing I submitted was taken by the organizers. (It was on-the-spot drawing.)

     Out of more than 30 students, luckily, I got the 5th place. And, the only girl in top 5 (*winks*). I'm happy with that as first timer.  

Medium used:  Staedtler pencil numbers HB, 2B, 3B, 4B, 5B, 6B, 7B, 8B

Got issues with Wattpad?

          Wattpad, really, has been stealing the spotlight for the past years. A lot of readers get hooked in stories until the publishers found it as their opportunity to revive the almost-unnoticed literature here in the Philippines. Now that Wattpad books have been in demand in bookstores, some critics start to raise their brows and ask, "What's the benefit out of that shit?" 

         The thing is, Wattpad's full of young members who aspire to write on their own without any rules. Not all of us are professional. It is a free writing site, as it says. Hence, a lot of young readers get attracted with the stories which have plot they can relate to. 

         Other people see Wattpad books as a shame for Philippine Literature. According to them, stories from the said site is full of flaws, grammatical errors, very informal, and a bunch of flirty characters. I'll speak as a Wattpad writer, and a reader, too. Yes, some stories have flaws. Have I said that Wattpad is a site where anybody can be a part of? Whatever your age is, whether you already got your first period or not, you may sign up. Grammatical errors, that's a sure thing. I have encountered stories containing wrong grammars, and typos, but again, this site has no rule. It just depends on you if you'll continue what you read or find another. Informal? I believe it is. Some Wattpad writers write by their own standards. A bunch of flirty characters? Exaggeration is an understatement. The characters in the stories particularly in romance genre have to do some things for the sake of love. Don't say it as if you only read these kind of stuff in Wattpad. 

Filled Stares

Our eyes meet
      like moon and earth
We speak no words
      yet our hearts talk

I wonder
      what do you want to say
I quest for something
      beyond this gaze

I can sense
      past your eyes,
the words trying
      to find their way out

Can you, too,
      feel mine bursting out?
Do you sense
     the meaning in our eyes?

Just, if only
     our eyes can speak,
thousands of feelings
     will be revealed

But they don't
      and will never be
Unless you'd speak up
       and say even "hello."

There was This Girl

There was this girl

who used to smile but was hurt

who realized she was senseless 

and she let the world screw her

   There was this girl

   who had friends but were untrue

   who needed help but they didn’t care

   and she let the people screw her

      There was this girl

      who fell for a guy but couldn’t say it

      who thought about him but he never did

      and she let the love screw her

There was this girl

who loved her Mom that did not care

who searched for a dad but failed

and she let her parents screw her

   There was this girl

   who asked God but got no answer

   who prayed and stopped in the end

   and she let go of her screwed up faith

      There was this girl

      who cried all night yet no one heard

      who begged for love but nobody dared

      and she let her life screw her

There was this girl

who died on the road but was unseen

who was tired of shit and life's misery

and she let the loneliness screw her

Quite Stupid

All of them were murmuring that day
They kept their eyes on nothing but his face
Everyone was mentioning his name
Except me, I did not even notice him

Months had passed until it sank into my mind
That we were so close-- envied by everyone
Never thought you would be that near
Unknowingly, in my heart you were so dear

I wouldn't fall, I wouldn't go beyond
From the very beginning, I knew I must not
After all,  the boundary was our friendship
The absurd reverse was the thing I did

I must have gotten you wrong
and I had to admit, to you I feel belong
Your breath-taking smile changed my mood
Your electrifying touch shivered my whole

I should have the guts to tell it straight
Or should've avoided you before it worsened
Dumbly, I was drowning, I messed up a lot
Sorry, I was not able to get up

I wondered what would you say, my dear
Would you return the favor, or not?
The answer slapped me before I ask
Someone was in your heart-- the name was not mine

Life's irony was full of shit
Fault was mine, I let it slipped
I should've had known my place, since then
to be your companion-- just your companion

(This poem was written years ago, and was also re-written a few times.) 

Nahuli Ko Si Crush

Isang araw sa loob ng aming silid aralan

Nakatingin ako hindi sa guro, hindi rin sa pintuan

Para bang naka-glue ang mga mata ko sa kanya

Palagi akong napapatitig kay crush sa tuwina

Hinding hindi ko malilimot ang mga araw

Na nahuhuli niya akong sa kanya ay nakatanaw

Pinangarap kong sana'y lamunin ako ng lupa

Binuhusan yata ako ng tubig sa sobrang hiya

Subalit ika nga ng mga nananalig

Hindi ka raw mahuhuli ng crush mo na ika'y nakatitig

Kung wala siyang intensyong sayo ay tumingin

Kaya pinanindigan ko ang akong damdamin

Biglang may naramdaman ako na makati sa aking ilong

Di ko matiis, naipasok ko ang daliri at doon humantong

Habang nangungulangot, ako'y napatigil

Si crush ay nahuli kong nakatitig na pala sakin

Nostalgia

One morning, while I was alone in our house, I played some music from my phone connected to a speaker. I am a music lover and for me, it’s one of the best therapies whenever I am stressed. Coincidentally, there was this song that’s on track and I felt like I was in our Junior-Senior Promenade again. Not that it was a cheesy kind of song but it was actually a song that I used to dance--with him--that night.

While I was listening to the song whole-heartedly, I could clearly remember how it happened and how I was able to dance with him. That evening, when that sweet music played, everybody grabbed their partners and there I was, sitting underneath the dancing lights and I felt so frozen because my crush—whom I’d like to dance with— was just beside me. Imagine that! My heart felt like it was going to get out from my mouth. At first, I felt so ridiculous when I asked him “Have we danced already?” My intention, honestly, was to break the ice within us but then I realized that it seemed like I was asking him for a dance! I’d like to run away after saying it. But, without answering my question, he stood up and said, “Come on, let’s dance.”

He was not actually my first dance. I had not even danced with him during our junior prom. I just had that opportunity in our senior prom—our last year together. It was my first time, I think, to hold his hands and be as near as if we were hugging. His proximity shattered my nerves and I didn’t know what to do. Of course, I did blush. Who would not feel that way? I didn't know if he saw it since it was a bit dark. Sure thing was, I knew I couldn’t help myself smiling like a crazy girl.

What made it special was when he sang the lyrics with me. You might be surprised with what I’m about to say, but from the start of our dance till the end, we were not looking at each other. A glance maybe, but I had no idea why we were so shy. He didn’t know how I felt that time and up until now, it still has an effect on me. One of the memorable things I did in my entire high school life was to spend at least 3 minutes of my life dancing with him.
When the song that was playing in my phone hit its last lyrics, the vivid memories from the past year was slowly fading… slowly tore my feeling. I didn’t know why it did. Until, all of a sudden, I thought maybe, I was just missing him.